Wealthmiser

Okay so first we have …

The Orange Pekoe People – The Blue State hardliners. Old-time mainstream types. You know the off-the-shelf back tea leaf drinkers. (If Lipton was good enough for my grandfather, it’s good enough for me!) Anti SS and Medicare. These are the old line Newt Gingrich followers with true Republican orthodoxy. The Republican Party opposed Social Security when it was founded seventy-five years ago, and have never supported the notion the government should be running a middle class handout pension program. They believe in what President Bush referred to as the “ownership society.” Basically that means that the “private market” should take care of it, and if you didn’t plan ahead, tough nuts to you, loser. If we had our way, you wouldn’t have the electric to heat that water much less throw in a tea bag. “Now where’s that Jack Daniels? This tea needs something.”

The Green Tea people…These are the “far out” types who are actually telling you what their plans are! Unlike the aforementioned, these newbies are saying things before an election you’d never hear the Pekoe people say. No innuendo a la Bush or Dole. Think Scot Brown and his truck. People like Congressman Paul Ryan, who would be Chairman of the House Budget Committee if the Republicans were to take back control of the House, has drawn up a roadmap on how he would privatize Social Security and abolish Medicare and replace it with vouchers for private insurance.

Seniors and the middle class may find both groups and their agendas hard to swallow. And if they turn out in numbers in November, the tea party may be in steep trouble.

The White Tea totalers -This one’s obvious -it has the highest amount of antioxidants with the least amount of caffeine… it’s the drink of the Libertarians. Accomplish more with less no?  The new hotties are shaking the leaves in Washington and Wall Street by taking aim at Obama and his free handed spending spree. Think Rand Paul the libertarian ophthalmologist from Kentucky leading in the polls as I write this… http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2010/09/05/rand-paul-leads-in-kentucky-polling/

This last group clearly has the Democrats very nervous as November quickly approaches. Pelosi looks like a jangle of nerves, and Barney Frank seems to lose his temper at every interview. Obama’s numbers are dwindling; he can’t keep his wife’s spending under control much less our country’s, as he keeps snapping back at the press daily.

Apparently being a coffee drinking Democrat has its downside these days. Here’s an excerpt from the Grey Brigade…“Well, don’t worry youngsters, the Grey Haired Brigade is here, and in two months we are going to take back our nation.  We may drive a little slower than you would like but we get where we’re going, and in November we’re going to the polls by the millions. This land does not belong to the Muslim in the White House or to Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. It belongs to We the People, and We the People plan to reclaim our land and our freedom. We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren.  

So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the Grey-Haired Brigade.”

Tea celebs: Karl Rove, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Laura Ingram, Newt Gingrich, Sean Hannity, Sara Palin, Ritch Santelli, Mike Huckabee etc… Besides Doug Hoffman, and Christine O’Donnell, who else on the hill has the Tea Party’s backing?

So there ya have it. The Tea Party according to Wealthmiser.

With coffee futures heading thru the roof and the Democrats headed out the door, perhaps tea is an appropriate symbol for what ails us as a country whose time has come. As the Byrds would say “to everything there is a season”… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LSTc-5Fn_Y

Hey Glenn, put down the diet coke, here’s how to make a perfect cup of tea.

While I wouldn’t take my cues from how the Brits handle their sovereign debt, I do bow to their prowess with the pot. Teapot that is….
http://www.veg-world.com/articles/make-tea.htm

And of course no cup of tea is complete unless you wash it down with a fruited scone…we had these everyday when we were in London…I could have moved into Fortnum and Mason just for their tea service sitting amongst the voracious white gloved British Grey Brigade. Heaven!

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/recipes/fruit-scones-1684424.html

Japanese Macha. Darjeeling a close second.

The Wealthmiser.

Does Michigan hate all tea drinkers or just the ones that vote Republican?http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/article/20100904/ELECTIONS/9040323/Michigan-high-court-keeps

What does this guy who writes for Salon and claims to have wanted to write a good piece on Palin have against her, er I mean Lady Macbeth…18 pages of vitriol and all of it from second hand sources – he never got to meet the woman herself.

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Election-2010/Vox-News/2010/0901/Vanity-Fair-publishes-18-page

From Lady Macbeth to Lady Gaga… Earl wusses out on Fire Island

Okay boys your pink Speedos are safe for now. Earl is just a distant memory. Turn off your gaydar. You can go outside and play. Run naked thru the Labor Day Parade! How positively gaga.

http://www2.wnct.com/news/2010/sep/03/3/goodbye-earl-obx-crystal-coast-spared-direct-hit-ar-

Even he looks gay!

What’s with the girl’s bike? And the helmet!  Did they mug some poor little girl on Martha’s and swag her stuff? He looks positively erkle-esque.

The ultimate biker chick….

A little wine with your chai?

Food “engineering” on the pairing of this duo working overtime  -why not try some of this gay blend with your barbecue instead of the usual Bud, bud.

http://chaiwine.com/

Looks like this labor weekend is working it overtime… life is a catwalk, no?…

The Wealthmiser

That’s the buzz du jour. So far the Starbuck’s and Peet’s say they won’t have to raise prices just yet but we all know where there’s steam there’s a hill of beans about to go boom.

I remember past coffee price hikes. In the 70’s my grandmother stopped drinking it altogether and became a tea drinker and that’s saying a lot. The Italians live for their espresso. We used to grind our own beans at the local A&P – I could barely reach the grinder, but she would lift me up so I could pour the beans into the “little house” and watch it come out a fine black powder. My grandmother always chewed the first few beans to make sure they were fresh. ‘Eight o’Clock Coffee.’ She would then make it in a stainless steel percolator that sat on the stove all day til liquid mud poured forth from the bottom of the pot. Not a drop was ever wasted. At Grandma’s I was allowed to drink coffee and hot milk. It was part of our history together. When she switched to tea, so did I.

But years later, I opened a coffee supply store in Washington DC where I custom ground from beans that were roasted four blocks away. I bought my grinder – a 1930 antique during a trip to Italy. And speaking of the Italians, there goes another tradition. I just found out the first “to go” espresso bar is about to open. Yes, alas, they are buckling under the pressure to adapt just like the French have done. But the cafe experience in France was always different from the Italians. The Italians always drank their espresso standing at the bar, not lingering over a cup for hours socializing and lingering. I hate to see traditions die especially one so particular to our ‘Paisans.’

I still don’t drink coffee today. There are times when the smell of it really gets to me though. I love walking around Starbucks and places like Dean and Deluca. And for some reason I associate coffee with the change in season from summer to fall. Sometimes when I smell my husband’s fresh brewed cup, I get tempted but I settle for the buzz I get off the fumes. I am very caffeine sensitive. I get light headed just inhaling the stuff! And there are times when certain foods beg for coffee. Biscotti. Scrambled eggs. Apple Pie. Hmmm. I better stop there. I am starting to get hungry!

Wealthmiser

Hundreds of thousands came to the mall in Wash DC this weekend to hear the nouveau historian of all things conservative implore America to remember its history — Kudos to him for making his audience a little smarter during his Friday’s shows.

Things were not so sweet in Jackson Hole but Ben gave the market a pop. The economy is in desperate need of a good shot of sustainable glucose to get it rip roaring again… and I don’t mean high fructose!

Getting the old sugar time blues…

For all you sugar junkies out there, time to horde the white stuff – looks like sour grapes for us as sugar heads higher and higher. Meaning that sugar high buzz we crave is going to behave like carbo cocaine. What to do? 

Ella Fitzerald might now a thing or two about it …talk to me mama

Hummingbirds are the earth’s pre-eminent sugar junkies. As such are they endangered or about to become nasty should the price of sugar sky-rocket?

The poor dears must eat more than their weight in food each day, by eating often. Because their survival depends on this more than any other animal on the planet- they continually face starvation. Not so unlike what Benanke is doing to keep the economy rolling, energy storage or sugar consumption keeps a hummingbird from starving, but not for long. The energy at the end of a day usually is just sufficient to survive overnight. Unless they lower their body temperature overnight, they could die. Can you imagine a horde of hummingbirds on a low blood sugar rage? Think Hitchcock.

So when you grab the cookie dough at 3 am *just think of yourself as a small red bird and go tweet around your kitchen as you stick your fingers in the sticky stuff and lick off every tasty morsel – Unless of course you’re Michelle Obama.

California could run the grid off her stored energy for years.

Horde some granular now or pay dearly for those sugar pumpkin cookies this fall. When you see the future price of sugar you’ll need all you can get to calm yourself down.

Soft pumpkin cookie recipe… (Glenn Beck, not exactly bird-like himself, admits to this nocturnal rite*)

The wealthmiser. Tweet.

Let’s see, she was doing the tapas tango in Spain two weeks ago. And there she is  on Martha’s Vineyard today…maybe we should ask when is she NOT on vacation on our dime? While the rest of us are belt tightening she appears to be letting out her seams and has given up the ridiculous camouflage fat belt look. While the rest of us are putting less on our plates, she is probably gorging on lobster, and ice cream on Martha’s Vineyard, where all the wannabe wasp soul sista’s hang. And all the wannabe wasp soul daddies play bad golf.

So what do you want on that blimpo burger, Michelle? Ketchup?  Pickles?  Or a dollop of malaise perhaps? As in the US Economy? Yes, Michelle! As in the stock market is still open this week! Surprise… world is still working to fund your trips. If you ever lift your head out of the buffet table, you might take a look.

As the market grinds down toward the end of the summer, we’re seeing the typical seasonal malaise when companies quietly drifts down to 52-week lows. And the selling may not be over. The S&P 500 has historically been the weakest in September, dropping an average of -1.3%. The good news: stocks really build a head of steam after that. The S&P 500 typically rises +0.7% in October, followed by average monthly gains of +1.5%, +1.9% and +2.1% in each of the next three months. Fun in the Sun is Over. Thank Heaven.

As far as I am concerned the summer is officially over. Put away the beach balls, the white belts, the seersucker, and the books you didn‘t read at the beach… I think half the Southeast never left their air conditioned media rooms. Any hint of summer they got from the weather channel.

So get out the canning jars, and start to plan for fall. Think Vivaldi. Hopefully the DJIA doesn’t mimic the leaves.
Think Apples. ADM?
Think Apple. AAPL?
Think Cider. JMBA?
Think Doughnuts. PNRA?
Think Hayrides. DAL?
Think Tweed.  RL?

If you buy any of those you will win the hang out with Michelle contest where you get to pay her food bill for the week.  The US taxpayer thanks you.

From StockTrade to Night Shade

As in that eggplant in your garden…One summer in Connecticut I had more eggplant than I knew what to do with… I was trying to outdo my Italian neighbor who blew me out of the topsoil with his 14 foot zucchini so I had to win the eggplant war. Suffice to say, I put so much fish fertilizer on my plants, I swear they tasted like they already were laced with anchovies… It was an eggplant explosion, so I found that they cooked down beautifully in a mélange of tomato, onion, garlic, and celery. So for the nightshade lovers among us, this recipe for caponata is wonderful. Alas, I could not find my grandmother’s so this will have to do for now. You can either freeze a batch or can it. I did the latter being the retronaut I am when it comes to all things food or thread. Mangia!

Wealthmiser

Right now my life is very… For all you Mad Men lovers you know what I mean off Sunday‘s episode. That’s as far as he gets- rips the paper out of the typewriter and tears it up refusing to deal with how dicey it is for him right now. He’s living in a hovel, his wife divorced him – he can’t connect on an emotional level to anyone including himself so he just gets drunker and passes out on the bed.

How would you finish that sentence for where you are right now?  Full? Happy?  Content? Fun?

Didn’t think so… know why? My theory is that people, like the stock market, don’t perform in a bubble – when there is so much uncertainty now, fear mongering, worries, instability, mistrust, pessimism, who’s doing cartwheels? I tend to be optimistic but when there is so much angst popping around out there, it’s gets harder and harder to party on.  I think when the going is fuzzy, we all tend to stop the momo and sit out of most stuff except for the necessities. Shopping?  The numbers are telling us we’re only buying what we need right now. Food. Toilet paper. Barest of Walmart necessities. Forget Whole Foods. That’s for people with jobs or trust funds – or their very own hedge funds.

But there are pockets of hope and the latest back to school craze - the skinny jeans.

I see these as THE fall item – and of course all the accessories to go with them. They say they are going to save retail this quarter… hmmm we shall see… perhaps they’ll squeeze a little fun back into our lives…

Need more reasons to be glum like Don? How about the Hindenburg Omen? And how come Lakehurst New Jersey where the real Hindenburg crashed doesn’t have a Hindenburg Day?

No even the poor over-taxed people in New Jersey don’t need that PR spin. They have had enough hot air from their politicians so far this year. Haven’t we all. Let’s all hold our breath til November.

Speaking of hot air… http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/best-ever-popcorn-balls/Detail.aspx

Now I ask you how can you not smile at one of these? An instant angst blocker!

Getting more rotund from the rotunda.
Congratulations my dear, on your latest PR disaster du jour.

I hear from Karl Rove that nobody throws their Richter scale weight around the White House like Michelle – you just don’t question what this heffer does or she’ll wipe the floor up with you.

Beyond arrogance we just spent 178,000 to fly her beyond Beyonce ass and her kid on our dime when the poor working class are out of work and can’t put food on their table. They are thrilled to afford the iceberg on sale for 99 cents and Obama asks for arugula in Iowa.

Michelle dines at five star hotels in Malaga and he’s got a 59% disapproval rating because they don’t care what you think… but thankfully they are running what’s left of the Democratic party into the ground.

Perhaps she may burn some calories in the process.

Hey Michelle I ‘ll buy the running shoes! Don’t let the double wide doors hit you in the… oh never mind…

Pretty in Pink?

Okay, 178,000 to fly to Spain and nobody packed a steamer to get the wrinkles out? You’d think she’d send one of her ladies in waiting to Cortez Inglez and buy one before the paparazzi came. Seems you’re either First Lady material or you’re not.

Walmart Shopper in Aisle 8

Woops!   Actually some Walmart shoppers look better than poor Michelle If you pick carefully you can actually do pretty well.

The wrinkled khaki cargo pants don’t even match the top! Her fat cankles are literally exploding out of those horrid shoes.  She has a saddle back (curved vertebrae) and thinks she looks smaller with these empire waisted tops and belts that sit high on her torso which do nothing but call attention to how fat she is in all the wrong places.  Not to make the point but…you can dress casually and still look elegant – it comes with a certain pedigree that alas seems to have eluded this present first lady much as she would like you to think otherwise.

Only hopes she did not fall in love with the churros in Spain or I fear even the fat belts and high cinched waists won’t obscure the obvious excess she carries.

Bacca de chocolat..

I was literally addicted to these when I traveled thru Spain…

Ingredients:

2 1/4 cups whole milk (540 ml)
1/4 cup water (60 ml)
1/3 cup granulated sugar (67 grams)
1 cinnamon stick
4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, melted (113 grams)

Heat the milk and water just to a boil in a saucepan. Turn off the heat.

In a separate saucepan, heat the sugar with the cinnamon over medium heat. Leave the sugar undisturbed until it begins to caramelize and take on color around the edges. Gently swirl the syrup around the pan at this point until the sugar is completely melted. Continue heating the caramel until dark amber.

Watch out for sputtering hot syrup and steam in the following step. Pour the milk over the caramel and cinnamon (the milk might foam up as it boils). Stir until the caramel is completely dissolved.

Remove from the heat and whisk in the melted chocolate. Discard the cinnamon stick.

Using an immersion or regular blender, whip the hot chocolate for about 1 minute.

Serve immediately or store in an airtight container and refrigerate. Caramel cinnamon hot chocolate can be made up to 2 days ahead.

You’re walking down a street. It’s early morning. You pass someone who looks like Francesco Clemente. That’s because it is Francesco Clemente out for a morning stroll in 90 degrees looking so dapper in a worn linen jacket and scarf. You stop with your camera and ask if you can take his picture. I have always loved Francesco Clemente’s work and his personal style (notice the frayed sleeve of this olive drab jacket which looks like 80‘s Armani). He is a real icon of the New York art scene.

Man and clothes with soul like a fabulous old worn Oriental carpet.

Catalogued under the style isn’t fashion mantra. This is the real artist, perfect and unique but not showing the least effort. I always loved a bit of wear and tear on a garment – Looks so casual and elegant. His interview with Charlie Rose is a must if you have even one creative bone in your body…

In the interview he talks about “waiting” as being a big part of the creative process.  I am sure the chap who waited for just the right morning to be out with his camera would agree.

I wonder if anyone else has noticed…

Maybe it’s a left brain right brain split between two people?

On the one hand you have the artist. On the other you have, well, you have a no less brilliant quant.

Someone once said art is not about the “what” but the “how.” Maybe the reverse is true for Bernanke.  Saving us from the ravages of a depression may well be considered a “work of art” when the history books are written.

I wonder if he owns a three button linen jacket.

It was so hot in Tennessee yesterday…

I was playing my Frank Sinatra White Christmas CD en route to getting some sorbets and frozen fruit at Kroger’s – I pass on the local fruit as it looks more like confit these days.

Prices were sky high on produce as the price of water skyrockets in heat soaked California. I suppose if I was schlepped in a truck halfway across the country, I wouldn’t look particularly tasty either.

So here’s my inflation story…

I get to the checkout counter and the woman in front of me has several cases of diet coke – the college kid checking her out is a wise guy type. This Saturday part time gig is clearly not his career path.  Anyway, he tells her the amount, She starts to violently shake her head “no” and asks him to double check the price.

I chimed in and said to her, “Didn’t you hear? The government has taken over the cash registers at all Kroger’s to help pay for Obamacare.” College Boy, interrupting me, says he overcharged her by like twenty dollars, kinda shrugs it off and gives her change.

She leaves and I start to put my items on the conveyer.

I said to him, “I guess Math isn’t your major.”

And with that he looked me straight on and said “No, I am a liberal.”

It seems I had bruised his ego.

From that point on, I watched to make sure he didn’t bruise my bananas.

The uncooling of Don Draper…

What the hell is happening to old Don. Suddenly he’s starting to get very uncool. Getting roaring drunk, Sleeping in hallways. Throwing hissy fits at paying clients. And worst of all starting to look dorky in those suits. More on this later….

Wealthmiser

He’d make a perfect uncle.

You know the one that used to come to visit every summer. The one that got away. Lives in a better place than you and your parents. He’s the exotic one. The one that looks like he could go Hollywood. Dresses well. So much so as a child you wonder why he’s not your father. He brings you presents. He doesn’t smoke. He takes you to the movies and buys you ice cream.  He tells you will be beautiful. We love those uncles. They are so optimistic. At least for the summer everything is rosy. They bring hope that things will get better. That there is a better world out there.

That was my Uncle Al. And I thought about my Uncle Al while watching Larry Kudlow tonight. While everyone was screaming 115 sizzling degrees of a bummer of a summer, he has steadfastly been holding to the eternal optimistic view. St Exupery would be impressed. He too was a free market capitalist, non?

Larry gave us his optimistic checklist tonight on his show …corporate profits up, market up 7% in July, savings rate going up, interest rates down, GDP growing steadily month on month…the elections in November, King dollar.

I heart Optimism!

Flying in the face of all that’s wrong with the Obama Administration and what it is doing with our debt, the pace of legislation for the past 18 months was unprecedented.  We will never see this level of spending again in our lifetime. The decoupling of the class of middle America. Our economic freedom ripped out from under us. Citizen armies armed to take the country back from the Socialist crazies. We are in decline. As the balance changes in Washington (the Repubs will take the House) we must get out of this highly regulated environment and this ridiculous fiat money crack house. And Larry has been there all along

screaming – literally – to get us back to our roots of hard work, entrepreneurship and incentivizing hard work rather than handing out free money for the mass class of big ass America who don’t pay squat in taxes and expect to get a free ride. And Larry’s our man.

He’s Glenn Beck without the chalk board. In 5000 years of recorded history the greatest nation on the planet will not go down the tubes  as long as Larry has one last breath in his body. Let’s get behind that bespoke suited wonder and do whatever it takes to push back the tax increase – someone has to sign this bill and extend the Bush tax cuts. 20% is still too high. Repeal Sarbanes Oxley before all of NYC business leaves these shores. And repeal Obamacare and repeal everything Pelosi got her greasy fingers on.

Reform Reform Reform Reform. He screams his rhetoric at the top of his lungs. Why isn’t Kudlow on Fox anyway? He’s the only real non Liberal on CNBC.

He continues…. No more bailouts. It’s called Bankruptcy moron!  -  ever heard of it? You screw up- it’s on you. And get the government off our backs! Did you know 2/3 of businesses are now under the control of the Fed government? Yikes….

And oh yes, to the rest of the world – tell the UN the party is OVAH. That window is closed.

Larry’s show is always entertaining. He does his market take and then has his minions split screened and then lets them all talk at once …highly irritating but strangely entertaining all the same.

“The market is still deciding whether it wants to consolidate or breakdown here. The battle of 1100 continues, and is proving profoundly futile to try and trade until it resolves in either direction. Therefore, a better use of time is to take a sneak peak into the future, with your good friend and great American, Larry Kudlow of CNBC, as your guide. “ King of King Dollar, the Mustard Seeds, and beating up on midget economists, he takes on guys twice his size like Joey – fat neck- Battapaglia  and Don -don’t remember the tech bubble I lost my fortune in- Luskin. Goldilocks is back and Larry doesn’t need the cocaine anymore to see Alice and the White Rabbit. He’s got Big Butt Bertha and 30 hotel rooms and her free wheeling spender of a husband in the White House to rail against. Yeah, you go Larry.

And don’t get those French cuffs dirty tangling with those tawdry democrats. We know you went to Ivy League schools and wear the BEST clothes on cable. And that’s saying a lot. Love the tie, sweetie.
You’re like a relic out of the forties. I can see you now on your boat sailing off the coast of Block Island with a sidecar in one hand and a Cohiba in the other. Enjoy Larry, We love ya…and please adopt me! I am in the market for an exotic uncle.

 The Wealthmiser

Thought you ought to know when it comes to wealth, these haunts have the highest earners:

Wealthiest Wealthmisers by top 5% Household Income:

  1.  New York, NY:       $857,643

  2.  Fairfield, CT:          $822,708

  3.  Westchester, NY:  $793,134

  4.  Somerset, NJ:        $625,869

  5.  Marin, CA:              $624,762

  6.  Montgomery, MD:  $567,190

  7.  Hunterdon, NJ:      $554,015

  8.  Morris, NJ:              $546,982

  9.  Nassau, NY:           $538,307

10.  San Francisco, CA: $523,744

Heat wave alert!
You burn more calories eating protein so eat this
instead!The Veggie Burger Meltup…

Some people were meant to
wear hats…
Ah the definitive Panama!
Okay so it was a lousy movie -
but who could forget that hat?

It put Jane March on the map – whatever
happened to her besides being miscast with -urp -
Bruce Willis!!

Some people were not meant to wear hats…
I rest my case.

 Cheers!  The Wealthmiser

What is it about this time of year that makes us all kids shopping for squeaky new shoes?

Do kids even wear shoes anymore? I guess today it’s new sneakers iPhones and tattoos.

Sorry but I go all Luddite when it comes to school gear. Old wooden pencil boxes. Howdy Doody lunch pails. Hand cranked pencil sharpeners screwed into door jambs. Eberhard Faber erasers.

Fountain pens with chrome tops.

I went down the “back to school” aisles at various stores and was appalled at what passes for back to school items – Cheap plastic Day-Glo Chinese garbage.

We boomers had a RITUAL and for me that started at Woolworths. The first day of school was a half day and so the afternoon was spent at Woolworth’s filling the list.

My list was usually a new blotter for my desk, a pencil case for my Schaeffer fountain pen, pencils, erasers, magic markers, (back then they really smelled great!), Elmer’s glue (I never used) a binder – usually denim, dividers with colored plastic dividers, college ruled thin blue lined paper, and BIC pens. A slide rule, a wood ruler, and a three hole punch to put all the mimeographed pages (the ones that really smelled bad unless you were into getting high) into the binder – And some folders for special projects. My text books were covered in old Loblaw’s brown grocery bags. I never had a book bag. I did have a lunch pail but I think someone stole it and my mother put my lunches in brown paper bags after that. She never bought the small bags. I carried my lunch in a big Loblaw’s used brown bag!

Our Woolworths was on the corner of Grant Street in Buffalo New York, with doors at a 45 degree angles. It took up a good third of the block, and had some nice window displays as I recall. Outside at the entrance, there was a small black and white tile floor, with big double doors and shiny brass door pulls.  Inside the smell of hot dogs, grease from the grill, and buttered popcorn filled the air with anticipation and excitement. The tile changed to checker board red and white tiles.  To the right was a small counter run by an old cranky woman. The stools were low and red leather and swiveled. Your feet did not touch the floor. The counter was tan Formica with a stainless steel edge. Someone’s half drunk coffee cup was usually still on the counter, then removed as soon as you sat down. I think there were about twelve stools as I remember. The waitress always wore a white outfit with a little waitress head piece. The nut stand was next to the candy counter, I loved the black licorice buttons, served in a small white bag.  But my favorite was the whole baked apple in a domed crust with hot vanilla sauce. I either ordered that or the grilled cheese and tomato soup. Sometime after my dance classes, I would get the 3 foot long bag of buttered popcorn – I can still smell the aroma of that hot buttered corn.

The lunch counter was toward the right side, and always smelled of burgers on the grill. The toy section was toward the back on the left side with sales ladies watching every move you made. I bought almost all my school supplies at Woolworths. It was a mainstay at our house. When I got older I would be given permission to buy my first pancake makeup there too. And nail polish! Woolworth’s had the best selection of nail polish in the world. My grandmother and I would spend hours going over all the colors. She always chose some shade of red. I gravitated between the Persian Melon and Tawny Port. I loved Woolworth’s! It got me. It knew what I wanted and rewarded me every time I went there. It eventually closed down as did the rest of the stores from that time – Kresge’s, WT Grant, and Sattler’s. Years later, I would be living in New York, and discovered the Woolworths on 34th street where I and every gay guy in town coveted the fiesta ware and all things Woolworth.

Wealthmiser

Neither is winning any popularity contest of late.  And both seem to be the poster children for the “what’s to not like crowd”.

France, fresh off the heels of a lousy unemployment number and riots erupting all over their fair country ,world markets fell Tuesday after lower than expected earnings from U.S. investment bank Goldman Sachs. Goldman Sachs said its second-quarter net income fell 83 percent to $453 million because of lower trading revenues and a one-off charge for its settlement of civil fraud charges with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

The CAC-40 in France was 51.84 points, or 1.5 percent, lower at 3,434.49.

But then there’s the inveterate French culture – you know the thing that drives Americans crazy because it’s so cool and so not American. Let’s face it – you hate the French because they don’t think we’re the greatest thing since sliced fromage. And that’s pour quoi or ….Why you are not French

The New York Times recently wrote a cute piece about the French.

I know the biases we Americans have against the French are mostly political and a bit cultural but there’s a reason why it’s the number one destination in Europe for the world so stick that in your citaines and smoke it. It’s that je ne c’est quoi that we just can’t get enough of!

 What would Diane Lane have given to be more French and ten years younger in the movie “Unfaithful”?

And with that, I give you the 14 “raisons d’etre” and why you are not French my little pamplemousse…

1. You have allowed yourself to gain weight. The French word for fat is “gros”. Need to know more? 

2. In order to correct number 1, you spend hours sweating like a pig in a gym instead of walking more, eating pamplemousse, and slathering on de-cellulite creams the gov’t pays for.

 3. You ride to and from the mall in a gas guzzling SUV instead of renting a bike by the hour and riding your tush off through the Fauxbourg St. Honore in a pair of stiletto Manolas.

 4. You eat large portions of garbage food the French wouldn’t feed their hogs – (think anything like corn on the cob dripping in butter)

5. You don’t look particularly chic in black.

6. The minute you hit 40, you think Joan Rivers kind of kabuki face work.

7. You actually care what the twenty-something’s think about anything.

8. You have never had cheese for dessert.

9. You think drinking red wine is being French. (It’s not – they actually drink less wine than you’d think)

10. You embrace anything ten years younger than you and think it’s cooler than you just because it’s newer. Like a Lindsay Lohan-mediathon. It is very un-French to miss the younger version of you versus the you to be.

11. You haven’t been getting facials since the age of twelve.

12. You don’t spend the equivalent of the country’s GDP on creams, soaps, and capsules nor does your health insurance cover these expenses. Hey, the country invests in looking good. Must help those tourism industry numbers!

13. You will not embrace aging in a spirited, eccentric madcap way.

14. You will slowly become more anonymous and less acknowledged as you get older rather than more loved and appreciated. Pauvre enfants – we Americans who dare age.
And vive la difference as they say.

Roast chicken a la Chez L’Ami Louis

famous Chef bistro in Paris, he died at 98 choking on a slab of fois grois. Doesn’t get more French than that. Best pommes frites on the planet.

Wealthmiser

Summer Humbug!
The extremes.
Too many degrees
Too much moisture
Too many children
Too much yang
Too many lawn mowers
Too many leaf blowers
Absence of clouds
Watching someone with a pool in their backyard
on a hot day when you don’t have one
Owning a pool
Gay summer fruits
Smelly shellfish
Garbage
The sweat outside a glass of iced tea that drips
on your clothes
Too many days thinking that wherever you are
and everyone else is having more fun
Pretending to have fun
doing something “summer” out of guilt.
Too much skin showing on too many people
that don’t own mirrors
As soon as you get your wardrobe right,
the season’s over
The various shades of white that never match
Spending two months wondering why summer
was so great when you were younger.
Fumbling with sunglasses.
Not going to the beach.
Not reading a summer book.
Not having a summer fling.
Not having a tan.
Not getting rip-snorting drunk.
Going to stupid places you’d never consider
in better weather.
Freezing in air conditioning
Sweating
Other people’s feet.
Crox.
It procrastinates Autumn

Wealthmiser

Just think of the millions he won’t have to pay by residing in Florida.

Just like small business and wealthy people have been fleeing NY and CA and other high tax states in droves – Art Laffer has said as much in the past. High tax states are going bankrupt and low tax states are thriving. That said – taxes should not be the deciding factor but a consideration. Because at the end of the day, you have to put your head on a pillow that had better feel like home.

And that brings me to: What is home?

Is it exclusively the province of birthplace? I wonder. I have traveled to many places. On arrival, some felt like home. Like taking that deep breath of surveying the area, and doing that inward nod, “yeah.”
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Other times, I felt an ache for my birthplace that only a trip home would quell the fires of.

Damn that rust belt of a forgotten place that had me my first 18 years. The Nazis say; “give me a child the first eight years and I will own him.”

Buffalo New York had an extra ten to Adolf’s 8. And I hated half my life there. I love Buffalo with both fists. Doesn’t matter what it has or has not. This is not rational. It matters not. Thank God I am not acting on it like a case of puppy love. You hope it passes before you make a fool out of yourself. Just let it runs its course.

Would that I was born in a civilized place like where I live now – where the people are kind. The winters are mild and but for a few tornadoes that rip thru every now and then, the friendliest place I have ever lived .But going on four years, it feels no more like home than when I arrived.

Do you have to leave a place to experience homesickness.?

I haven’t left it since I arrived.  Maybe a couple of trips to Los Angeles might do the trick. Hell, hell would start to look good two weeks into LA.

 Places I’d move to tomorrow if price were no object – meaning I could afford a 3400 sq ft home like I live in now… In New England: Greenfield Hill, Fairfield CT, Berkshires, MA New York City, Carmel CA, San Francisco, Palm Beach FL. My adventurous list: London Paris, Florence, Venice.

I haven’t really found home yet.

The Wealthmiser.

What I eat when I am homesick:

There is an art to eating a muffin of such magnitude. If you are obsessed with lemony baked goods like I am, I highly recommend trying this recipe. These take me back to afternoons with my grandmother and our ritual afternoon teas on cups and saucers only – Never mugs. We would sit on her front porch sipping hot black tea she brewed like coffee and I would go right for the muffins fresh from the oven. I’d lick the sugar glazed frosting off first because they were too hot to eat right away. And then of course I’d pick off the poppy seeds – one by one. It drove her crazy!  We needed the carbs after our serious shopping sprees on Grant Street in Buffalo – just two girls out to get glamorous and holding hands all the way.